A Very Korean Wedding: Part Dool-Say 네 to the Dress

Oh my god, we're back again. Time to talk about another part of this crazy Korean wedding, the wedding portraits. Or rather, the lead-up to them. Unlike the US, Koreans do studio wedding portraits where both the bride and groom are there. I don't know what happens at other shoots, but in my situation, I was not asked about what kind of settings and poses we (as a couple) were interested in. Like most things in Korea, your personal interests are of no importance and you just do what everyone else has already done. If I could speak Korean better, I may have had some say in what was going on, but I don't and I didn't. Also, my man Korean is THE WORST at letting me know what is going on and this is definitely not the first time I have showed up somewhere not knowing what to expect and thus being woefully unprepared for what unfolds.

The actual day of the portraits was quite lovely. My friend and her Korean came along and they made it a fun affair. However, in hindsight (and after we got to see the proofs), I should have asked A LOT more questions and there are things I wish had been different. Anyway, I'll start from the beginning and if you're also getting wedding portraits, you can learn from my mistakes!

So, we just went to the studio recommended by our wedding hall. The studio works with a make-up and hair salon as well as a dress rental shop, so we used those as well. I have no doubt there are better and nicer shops out there, but I don't have Korean skills to find them and my Korean doesn't have the patience to do any research so that's why we just did what we were recommended.

A few weeks before the photo shoot, you will make an appointment to have a dress and/or tux fitting at the dress shop. Now, I was too hungover from my 31st birthday party to make the first appointment where my Korean could go along (birthday parties in your thirties are REAL difficult to recover from), so I went with a friend at a later date. This was good and bad...less stress because it's my friend that actually cares about wedding dresses but more stress because she also doesn't speak Korean well. The ladies were nice enough, so we got through it without too many problems in the language department. The real problem is that in Korea, I am a fat monster and can't fit into most of the dresses. While it's an awesome system of just renting dresses instead of buying them, it really only works in your favor if you are "Korean size," which is like somewhere between a 00-4 in US sizes. Regardless of how you actually feel about your weight, trying to stuff yourself into dresses that are too small is kind of a downer. And because it's Korea, they just don't have anything bigger. Yes, most Koreans are a small size but there ARE bigger Koreans that exist and I want to know where they are getting wedding dresses. It wasn't this fucking shop, that's for damn sure. My weight fluctuates a lot, but I am generally between an 8-10 in US sizes. I'm only 5'2" on a good day so my weight is pretty packed on my small frame. I think I am probably the maximum size to very tightly squeeze into a Korean dress, so if you are bigger than a 10 or a C bra size, chances are slim you will find a dress.

I totally understand that *most* women in this country are relatively slim but there are most definitely some that aren't. It just seems crazy to me that they don't have ANY options for women that are slightly bigger than the average size person. When my Korean and I went back the second time, she told him that ALL the dresses in Korea were like this and ALL brides have to be stuffed into dresses and that I just had to "endure." And honestly, I wouldn't have been so upset but we specifically asked the wedding planner if the dresses would fit me and she said "don't worry." The only other option was to have a dress specially made for me, but that is, obviously, very expensive and was not something I was interested in doing. In hindsight, that would have been much less stressful and definitely less soul-crushing. But, I still maintain that I am a paying customer and I should have been provided with dresses that made me feel comfortable and beautiful. I shouldn't have to endure!

Anyway, so there were a few that I managed to get my fat ass into, but of course they don't actually zip up or close in the back. So, they put this piece of fabric back there and tie you up, corset style. This was fine for pictures done from the front, but pretty obvious for anything shot from the side and back pictures were out of the question. But I'll get to that later. So yea, I got to choose three to stuff myself in and they were going to be ready to go on the day of the shoot.

A little side note about this dress shop: it was pretty dirty and REALLY cheesy. The decor was cringeworthy and everything looked like it hadn't been touched or wiped down since the 90s. The ladies working there were nice, but the kept asking me what kind of dress I wanted. I have kind of strange body shape, so I was less interested in finding my dream dress, but more interested in finding a dress that was flattering and actually fit. Stupid me, that wasn't an option. And you know how at home you can actually look at the different dresses and decide what you do and don't like? Well here you better come prepared or you can look in this ONE book that's sitting out that has five dress options in it. And even if you say, oh yes, I like this one, let's try it on, chances are high that it won't fit so that's a wasted 30 minutes of your life.

Oh, and the best part is that they give you these teeny tiny undergarments to try on as well. TAKE YOUR OWN BRA if you ever have to do this. I cannot stress this enough. In addition to probably never being washed, the actual bra is teeeeeny tiny and they still make you wear it, even if it VERY CLEARLY doesn't fit. And trying on dresses without proper undergarments will shred whatever self-esteem you had left so I wouldn't recommend it. The tiny bra makes your boobs look crazy and it puts them in places they have probably never been before. They also gave me these tiny shorts to put on and they would have maybe fit my 10 year old cousin.

Oh, also eat a proper meal or take snacks with you because it took a good 3-4 hours and by the end I was a hangry monster. My nerves were already shot by the entire experience, but by the end, I was just like WHATEVER because I needed to leave and get some food.

Ok, so you get into some dresses and they make you stand on this pedestal thing and open the curtains to show you off to whoever is there with you. Like I said, my friend was with me the first time and when I went back to choose the actual wedding dress, my fiance was there. They don't have the same tradition of not having the groom see you before the wedding day so if you want to retain that, bring someone else or tell your man to wait outside.

So I chose three and that's that. About two weeks later, it's time to take the pictures and that is yet another fun adventure in miscommunications, shattered expectations and a breakdown of your self esteem. Ready? Okay!

First, we had to go get my Korean fitted for his tux. At my shady ass rental shop, there were apparently only four different jacket options for him to choose from. This seems insane to me, but why would anything start making sense now? Also, the sample clothes they had him try on did not fit AT ALL so it was hard to get an idea of what actually looked good. The shirt was billowy and huge and the pants were too short and made his otherwise cute butt look ridiculous. Also, he only wore one outfit during the entire photo shoot, while I wore five. WHATEVER.

My friend (same one that came to the dress shop) and her husband came along for the adventure because they will be going through the same process next year. Lucky them, they also get to benefit from our mistakes.

After that, we drove to the make-up studio and were told to put our things and clothes into lockers. He and I both got made up and got our hair done. I got angry because no one told me I was supposed to come with examples and ideas of what I wanted my hair and make up to look like. I don't really wear a lot of make-up on a daily basis, so I wasn't sure what "look" I was going for. These seems like a stupid oversight now, but I assumed they were the professionals and they would be able to give helpful suggestions. Wrong again! The make-up ended up looking nice, but I did get very "Korean" eyebrows that were very thick and straight across, rather than just filling in my natural arch. Other than that, I looked quite pretty! My hair is naturally curly and I should have known they would have a hard time dealing with it. But again, I stupidly went into this process thinking the hair professionals would be able to help me. There were pictures of different styles, but they were all for people with very long hair. There was talk of being able to put extensions in my hair, but I was leery. My hair is dark, but it's not quite as dark as most Korean's natural color and idk, extensions seemed like A LOT of work at the time. So, they just defined the curls and I wore it down for the first half of the shoot.

The hair and make-up process took THREE HOURS, which was shocking to me. Maybe that is normal, but it takes me about thirty minutes to get myself showered, ready and out the door, so three hours was an absurd amount of time to spend getting ready. Once everything was finished, I was put into dress number one by a lovely assistant sent from the dress shop. She didn't speak any English, but she was very kind and patient throughout the whole process so that was one positive thing that came out of the experience. She did give me the ugliest shoes in the entire world to put on and tried to get me to put on a corset the size of my thigh, but it wasn't her fault. It's what EVERYONE else has worn, so of course I should do it as well.

Oh, also, after all that, I had to get in the car and drive to photo studio, which meant I was just wandering around the streets of Apgujeong for a few minutes while my Korean pulled the car out. And you know what? No one even batted an eye. Bless you, oblivious Koreans.

Last thing-I did have a very positive experience having a traditional Korean hanbok made, and I'll talk about that later as well. Not everything about this mess was horrible.

Anyway, that's the dress portion. I'm exhausted from re-living all of this so I'll save the photo shoot for Part Set. Stay tuned!

Looks decent from afar. But let's take a closer look....

That's tape holding it together. Just to give you an idea of the high class establishment I was working with. 

Perfect! Let's get married in that. 

Four hours have passed and we haven't even started taking pictures yet....

These fucking shoes

*Also, just before anyone gets upset, I KNOW I am in another country, and should be expected to adhere to their customs, etc. I am trying and yes, I would benefit from speaking Korean better. These are my frustrations with my personal experience and most of it doesn't have anything to do with the actual country, it's a combination of lots of different things. Also, it's really really hard to let go of certain expectations you have for a wedding, even if you are in a different country. I really don't know if other Korean women are actually happy with their wedding experiences, but I can't imagine that anyone that is even the slightest bit overweight appreciates having ZERO options for them to wear on their special day. 

Vietnam: Part One, Shoes

OOps! I didn't want this to be a kbeauty blog because I am seriously the dumbest when it comes to make-up, and also there are hundreds of other, more knowledgeable people that can help you out. So, moving on from my limited beauty product knowledge for now. Moving on to my FANTASTIC VIETNAM TRIP!! I have been on a lot of vacations, but this past one I took to Vietnam was damn near perfect. There were a lot of aspects to the fabulousness, so it's overwhelming and irrational to try and tackle it all in one go. I am also not going to try and organize it in any way, I'm just going to randomly post things trip related every now and then. First up, shoes!

Last year, I went on a two week tour of Vietnam and made a two day stop in Hoi An, which is on the east coast in the middle of Vietnam. It is famous for silk lanterns and tailor shops. I LOVE paper lanterns (not kidding, they are tattoed on my body), so this place like the little magical, softly-lit paper wonderland of my dreams. Two days was not enough, so I convinced SY to go back for our summer vacation. I had ulterior motives, though, because I wanted a new wardrobe (and a wedding dress, another post!) made. Plus, I wanted to experience the romance and magical-ness of the city with SY and not random strangers I met in the hostel. So back we went at the end of July! So many fantastic things happened but for now, shoes!

Like I said, Hoi An is famous for tailors, as well as handmade shoes and other leather goods. After I got fitted for a dress, the shop recommended a shoe store down the street. I am so incredibly lazy and hate bargaining with people, so instead of trying to look for anywhere else that might have been better or cheaper, I just went with this first option. I don't recommend doing this because I'm quite certain there are better options out there. While I am relatively happy with my results, I feel like things could have been better, and cheaper. Also I second guess every decision I've ever made in my life, so this is no exception.

The place was called VANS shoes and the ladies were nice enough. I showed them what I wanted and got fitted and was on my way. When I came back the next day (so fast!) they were ready but I wanted them to tighten the straps on the sides of the sandals. Long story short, I came back to the store 3 more times and they were never tightened. Finally on the last day, they suggested tightening the back strap to make them tighter and because I am easily convinced, don't like arguing and they legit seemed tighter, I just went with it. Now, being home and wearing them around town, I am pretty pissed I didn't make them tighten the straps on the sides. Because now they flap around when I walk and it's so annoying. They are SO cute and I love them, but god dammit, they are flappy and annoying.


I also got some heels made. I am pretty happy with them, but I recently wore them and damn, they were crazy uncomfortable. I only wore them for a few minutes, so maybe they will stretch out and feel better but at the moment they are pretty pinchy. But, they photograph well and are pretty to look at so that's a plus. Also, they were about $150 cheaper than what they go for online.

Well shit, this turned out more negative than I thought. I loved most things about Vietnam, and these shoes are, in theory (and in pictures) are pretty fabulous. But, they were more expensive and less satisfactory than I was hoping. So, yeah, if you decide to go and get some shoes made, channel your inner strength and stick to your guns about what you want and how they feel. Don't be like me and just give up so you can leave with your shoes you paid money for. Yes, they are cheaper than anything you will ever buy or have made at home but still. They're yours and you're paying so get what you want or get out. For Part Two, I'll find something more positive to write about!

A Very Korean Wedding: Part Hana-The "Engagement"

Ok. So. I'm getting married in Korea in 15 days and it has just been a roller-coaster. Mainly it's been a frustrating shit show, with little slivers of fun thrown in.  I am hoping it will all turn out to be worth it, but I'll have to get back to you in 15 days on that one.

Since I am assuming most people that are looking at this blog have some interest in having their own Korean wedding, I am not going to into explaining ALL the cultural nuances of this crazy tiny country but will be giving a personal account of MY experiences that I've PERSONALLY had. So, this isn't what everyone has or will go through. If you are an American and/or other westerner getting married to a Korean in Korea, god's speed to you. It isn't easy.

So this post is mainly about the steps leading to the wedding..a prequel, if you will.

Some background: unlike what dramas will lead you to believe, most Korean men are not that romantic. This opinion is based on my Korean and the handful of friends I have that are also married to Koreans. Most grown men think celebrating 100 days and White Day is childish and Koreans in general are not a very celebratory people, especially in terms of gift and card giving. I can't tell you how many fights I've had about what constitutes proper behavior on a holiday or anniversary or how many lectures I've given on the importance on honoring what the most important person in your life finds important. IT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT PEOPLE! Would it kill you to buy some flowers? NO IT WOULDN'T.

Umm, point is, they don't see the point of western style romance and this includes having big engagements. The two of you generally just decide together that you're going to get married and then you meet the parents and that's that. I did have one friend that had a lovely surprise involving video and a boat but that is more rare. Generally, there's no ring and no knee and you will have to deflect questions from your western friends, and sob over other people's romantic and special stories/videos/pictures. OR you can stage your own post-actual engagement, engagement reenactment and post those pictures...like I did. We actually got legally married (yet another post) and then I had time to plan out all the things I wanted to happen. I wanted a ring, so we went to "jewelry street" near Jongno and got a shiny fake diamond. I never really put any thought into a "dream ring" so I wasn't *that* concerned with what it looked like or how much it cost. The shinier and cheaper, the better. I have other plans for our money. Since Koreans often get "couple rings" when they have been in a serious relationship for a while, it took some explaining to vendors that no, my boyfriend didn't want a matching diamond for himself.  

I had also never put a lot of thought into my "dream" anything pertaining to a wedding. Different things are important to different people, but for me, I just wanted some semblance of tradition so I "gently guided" my Korean in these steps. It's not that I never expected to get married, I had just never put any thought into what I expected to happen. Which is probably for the best because I would have been SEVERELY disappointed.

So anyway, we got the ring and two weeks later we were able to "get engaged." Why two weeks? Oh because my Korean works like fucking crazy person and only gets a day off the first and third Sunday of every month. Yes yes, you heard right, 2 days off a month. Koreans are notoriously cray cray when it comes to work culture and he is no different. He, fortunately, owns his own business and doesn't have to deal with next level insanity of Korean corporate world, but since he's also the only empoloyee as well as the boss, there isn't anyone else to work if he wants a day off. His ridiculous job is a whole other post, so we'll move on.

On his next day off, we rented a little boat on a lake near Gapyeong (we had been there before) and paddled out to the middle and he just gave me the ring. I had gotten us couple shirts from Gmarket that made us look precious and romantic in the pictures, but really it was all my idea and it was kind of lame. We were also made to wear life jackets and when I made us unbuckle them for the pictures, we got yelled at through a bullhorn from the people back at the dock. Dammit people, we're trying to be romantic, shut the hell up! Also, my Korean is not as comfortable as I am in the water, so that explains the look of fear on his face in some of the pictures. After we got back on solid ground, we had a picnic at "our spot" in the park and that was less stressful. We took more pictures and exactly zero people congratulated us on newly engaged status. Our shirts clearly let everyone know what was going but it's Korea, no one gives a shit about anyone else.

Then I put the pictures up and pretended like it was a great magical moment. It was a fun day, but since I had planned it all out, it really wasn't all that romantic. Looking back now, it kind of makes me angry. I mean, it's so lame! I had to plan everything! What is wrong with him that he can't pretend to even give a shit? Dammit, cultural differences! I think this anger is because of all the subsequent milestones our relationship has since had where he makes little to no effort to acknowledge or celebrate it. He is slowly learning but I have a feeling there are going to be a few more blowouts before he learns and I also learn to chill a little. Just a little, though. Celebrating is my joy.

Anyway. That's that. I don't regret anything, but going through this ridiculous Korean wedding process has been wearing me down. Group mentality and the disregard for individuality extends into wedding culture. So even on your special day, it's actually not at all about you, but about your family and guests. This is my path that I have chosen so I can't complain, but I'm American so I will probably continue to anyway. The frustration of having to manufacture romance for myself is most definitely not unique to Korea. I am sure brides around the world are displeased with how things have progressed in their wedding journey, I'm just putting mine on the internet. But god damn you, rom-coms for ruining everything and giving people ridiculous expectations of what romance means!

Ok, well that was the "engagement" even though we were actually married the whole time! Sneaky us. Here are some pics and links in case you want a faux engagement for yourself!

Korea Jewelry Street: http://english.visitkorea.or.kr/enu/SHP/SH_EN_7_2.jsp?cid=273730
There are tons of stores so shop around to find a ring and a price you like.

Boat Rental: http://english.visitkorea.or.kr/enu/ATR/SI_EN_3_1_1_1.jsp?cid=584607&nearBy=accom
There are other, more exciting, rentals you can do as well.

You too can get yelled at while also getting "engaged!"

T-shirts: http://www.dhgate.com/product/hight-quality-chinese-size-s-xxxl-would-you/269422233.html
This isn't where we got ours, but that site has since been defunct. Such is the fickle life of Korea.

Best Face Forward

Kbeauty is VERY overwhelming. Just last night I was looking at other blogs and I legitimately felt anxious. Good God, there are so many products and things to choose from! But, my problem is two fold. First, I don't like having tons of products because I am a *teensy* bit on the Type A side and hate waste and hate buying new products before I've used my old ones. I cut open lotions to scrape out the last remnants. Penny pinching runs deep in my family and I am just really hate wasting things, get off my back! Also, I don't even like wearing face make-up but there are so many cute and seemingly wonderful products out there, I feel like I should have them! I shouldn't, because I won't use them but that doesn't stop me from seriously considering buying them and having them collect dust in my teeny tiny Korean bathroom.  I am very easily persuaded by beauty blogs and when other people have pretty things, I want them too. I recently quit my job, though, (last day is Wednesday, glory be) so there are even more reasons I shouldn't spend money on pretty things I will never use. 

To make things worse, I live in Gangnam (well technically Seocho) but I am literally a stones throw away from basically every Korean beauty shop that exists (with the inexplicable absence of Holika Holika and Club Clio). Plus there is an Olive Young a five minute walk from house and going in there is dangerous. Yesterday I needed a toothbrush and I left with eye masks, face masks, gel face masks and nail polish. So yeah, self-control is not my strong suit. 

Also, I am a sucker for a face mask. They are the fast, easy way to feel fancy and lovely, plus companies are always coming up with crazy new ones. I am exceptionally lazy and face masks are way easier than a 10 step face routine. My routine has three steps in the morning and four to five at night (sometimes one when I'm super tired), and a face mask every now and then. Also, not to brag, but I have pretty nice skin. I mean, I am always second guessing it because Instagram, but I get compliments on it and I generally don't have any problems. This in no way reflects good skin practices on my part. I just got lucky with genes. My sister got the height and good looks, I got good skin and my brother gets to be a white American male, so he's the real winner in the family. Anyway, while I am no expert, I have somehow acquired three very different face masks that I now have to use all up and I will compare them here, for you dear reader. Plus, a face mask as an added bonus. 

First up: Su:m37's White Award Bubble De Mask

So, it's pricey. Hence the sparkly background to represent glitz and wealth. I thought it was worth it because it really does make your face feel AMAZING but I'm having my doubts recently because there are other things that also make my face feel AMAZING. Anyway, you put it on after you wash your face and it gets all bubbly! It's super fun and after a few minutes they all start popping. Once they've all popped or you can't handle the tickly feeling anymore, you wash it off and ta-da! Your face is nice and shiny and VERY clean feeling. Not really any more white, but when Korean products say "whitening" they usually just mean brighter.

SY was super pumped about participating in the bubbles. 

Final Thoughts: If you feel like splurging, this mask is super fun. 

Next up: Elizavecca Hell-Pore Clean Up Mask 

Oops, it's dirty. Sorry about that. It's kind of runny and doesn't like to stay in the tube properly. So I had been seeing this all over the interwebs and was like, yes. Mainly because when I see things getting popular in the US, I feel superior that I'm in Korea and can get things for a slightly cheaper price. Also, SY has the hugest pores I've ever seen and pore stripping his nose is one of life's greatest gifts. The chance to do it to his whole face was something I couldn't resist. I still haven't been able to figure out where exactly this brand is sold, but I ordered this off G-Market (Korean Ebay). Then I took video of me taking it off and now you get to enjoy it. 

It hurt like a bitch. I have since figured out that if you leave it on for a REALLY long time, like 35-45 minutes instead of the recommended 15-20, then it's easier to peel off. I have yet to get it come off all in one piece like I've seen on other videos. I'm hesitant to try it again because it literally felt like I was ripping my face off. Also, it was not as satisfying as I was hoping for on SY's nose. I've used a 3 step kit from Innisfree on him that yielded better results. 

Final Thoughts: If you use this, keep it away from your eyes, out of any hair and leave it on for like an hour just to be safe. Also put it on really thick because that also makes it easier to pull off. And then go buy other masks because there's no reason for all this work. 

Third one: Holika Holika Smooth Egg Skin Peeling Gel 

 So I got this little booger for my birthday because my awesome coworker knows about my love for The Lazy Egg, Gudetma! I tried it a few weeks ago and was underwhelmed but it turns out I used it wrong. The instructions are all in Korean and there are no pictures, so I googled it, but I guess I looked at the wrong instructions. I just smoothed it on and then washed it off after like 10 minutes but was like, this feels wrong. So, I got SY to translate the second time around and it was SO MUCH BETTER. So how you actually use it is by washing your face, and then rubbing this on and kind of massage it into your face and let it get all the gunk off. Stand over a sink while doing it to catch the gunk. It feels kind of gross and it at first I was like, ew, I don't want all this gunk on my hands or in my sink. But it was worth it because afterwards my face felt amazing!!! Seriously, I was like a new born baby and it still felt super soft the next day. I was probably glowing for a while but then I walked to work in the humid fog of Seoul so the glow turned into a film of sweat.

Do you see the gunk? It's hard to see, but it's gunky, believe me. I didn't take an after picture because I am obviously the worst at selfies and they make me feel weird and awkward. I am also way to lazy to find good lighting, make my hair look presentable and clean out my eye boogers.

Final Thoughts: Fall in love with Gudetama, get thee to Holika Holika and use this mask correctly the first time around for a clean, soft, bright face! 

Last one: Skinfood Yuja Water Whitening Ampoule Mask Sheet

I don't know what Yuja Water, or an Ampoule is but this mask was refreshing and lovely. To be fair, they all are. There are literally thousands to choose from and I put this one on because it was a free sample. I have been using Skinfood's Gold Cavier line of lotions, cause I'm a fancy ass bitch, and this mask was free and not ₩5,000 ($4.50ish) so here we are. 

Final thoughts: I can't tell the differences between the masks and they all seem great so this one is just as nice as the other 10 samples I have in my cabinet. 

Umm, so I kind of suck at this. Sorry! But maybe you suck too and are feeling lost and overwhelmed and need some fanciness. Buy one of these things and you will feel fancy as fuck, guaranteed. 

With These Tired Eyes*

*To be sung to the tune of "Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen, featured on Dirty Dancing.

This is the first post about the Korean beauty products I use in my everyday life. There are literally a bazillion different K-beauty products out there, but these are just the ones I've happened upon and will now share my opinions with you, dear reader. Before I came to Korea, I rarely wore make-up and my face routine was Neutrogena face wash and a moisturizer with SPF, for day and night. I have taken baby steps to get to where I am now, and so can you! K-beauty is hella overwhelming, and I usually end up looking at other people's blogs to get tips. These can also be a bit much as they are done by actual beauty bloggers that are discussing slightly more advanced products (not for beginners and/or lazy people), and often use terminology that I have to google in a separate tab.  Hopefully these posts will help other face care dummies/lazy fucks such as myself.

So yeah, I always have dark circles under my eyes. I am constantly being told I look tired, which, 90% of the time is true. Even on days when I'm feeling good, got some energy, ready to rule the world, someone still tells me I look tired. However, I will say that lately I have been getting a lot of compliments on my skin, so other than the bags, my face situation is going pretty well. And even luckier for me, Koreans value a small face, so I have gotten many a compliment on the actual size of my face. At home, I was embarrassed for my tiny head that had to wear kid sized hats, but not here! But that is a whole other post, this one is about eye bags.

I think they are hereditary, so there is little that can be done about them. Sometimes, when I'm feeling ambitious, I wear under-eye concealer but those days are few and far between. So, every now and then (when I remember), I use these little eye patch thingys that I think I saw on someone else's blog. You can be the judge if they do any good. (Forgive the photos, I haateee taking selfies)

Hydrogel Eye Patch by Petitfee, ordered from Gmarket

Before picture. I shouldn't have dark circles. I had slept in and relaxed all day. But such is life. 

Are they working? Is this the right way they go on? I don't know, I lost the directions. Leave on 10-15 minutes. 

After! Looks exactly the same, eh? Do I feel brighter? Not really. 

Like most things, if I did them consistently, I might see results. However, I'm the worst at following a routine. Mainly because my life is constantly being interrupted by travel or schedule changes. I'm not complaining because I love change, but it's not the best for routines. 

So there you go. I didn't necessarily look better, but I did feel fancy as fuck with black pearl and gold resting under my eyes. 

Baller on a Budget

So, I love to travel. It is my number one favorite thing to do. The planning and the prep stresses me out to no end, but once I get past security and am in the airport, I am just SO PUMPED about the adventure ahead. I really believe that I am the best version of me when I am somewhere new, on an adventure, soaking it all in. I don't really like the term wanderlust because lord, it has been so overused but yeah, I got it bad.

I wouldn't consider myself an "expert,"but I have to say, I'm pretty damn good at it by now. When I renewed my passport two years ago, I got extra pages and it made it my goal to fill them all up by the time it expired. Haven't filled up all 50 yet, but I have used up 10 pages with seven countries in two years, so I'm on my way.

With all this traveling comes a lot of reading blogs, pinteresting and asking for advice. There are people that are better at it than me, and feel free to google for more extensive information, but here are thoughts and tips for living your best travel life.

A little heads up: I am NOT a free spirit, play it by ear, let's see what happens kind of traveler. I don't plan out every day, either, but if you want to fly by the seat of your pants, ignore all these tips because they are for someone a little more pulled together than that. I am also past the stage of traditional hostels, just so you know. Also, I am wordy as hell so get ready for some quality reading.

1. PLAN AHEAD.

Omg, I cannot stress this enough. First, you will probably get a better deal. Second, then you will have a long time to look forward to something and third, you have more time to plan and really  think about what and how you want to spend your trip. I like having a plan. I am not going to type up an itinerary but I always make a list (I LOVE LISTS) of the top things I want to do/see/eat/buy and decide which things are NOT TO BE MISSED. Lately, I have been going on trips with a set mission (get wedding dress made, go to a friend's wedding, eat ramen), but sometimes if I'm just on a vacation, I like to have an idea of what cool things I should check out. I don't get too stressed about picking the best and coolest and highest reviewed, but I know from experience that trying to plan a trip when you're already there (especially with limited time) is stressful, annoying and can be a waste of time. Double that if you're traveling with someone because you have to worry about however they're feeling as well. Almost everywhere has wifi these days, so you're not going to be stranded BUT you still have to shift through all the nonsense, so you might as well do that before you leave. I guess I like to just have some sort of outline. Because you and I both know nothing EVER goes to plan, so let's not kid ourselves. There will often be some sort of delay, cancellation, closing, or a better offer presented. Don't stress trying to plan every detail, but prioritize the things you really want to see. And also don't let anything make or break your trip because there is nothing worse than being grumpy on vacation and regretting it later.

Bottom line: Make an outline, keep it loose, keep it tight.

How I plan:

Flights:
Skyscanner is a really great resource for Asia travel, as it has the low budget options that Kayak and sometimes Google doesn't have. Google flights is fantastic if you are REALLY flexible because it lets you look at different locations, as well as dates. I've been lucky enough to randomly pick destinations like that once or twice and it is hella fun. Now that I'm in my more grown up life, I have time constraints and Skyscanner is awesome for showing my where I can go for the cheapest. Kayak is pretty irrelevant here because there are SO many cheap airlines that don't show up on it. Depending on the length of the flight, a budget airline is a great option. Lucky me, I'm short and don't need a lot of leg room. This can be a problem for some people, so be careful. Also, these airlines often don't provide ANY sort of refreshment, including water (it's not free), so try your damnedest to get a snack to bring on board. Peach is great for Japan, VietJet for Vietnam, Cebu Pacific for The Philippines and Eastar Jet and AirAsia (I think these give you water) for various places around Asia. Decide how long you can last with limited leg room and no water. If you can find a deal or have the budget, opt for Korean Air, Asiana or any of the fancier country-named airlines (Vietnam Airlines, Air Japan, etc) because they will give you a meal even if the flight is just two hours! Also, Korean Air is HELLA NICE and you will wonder why every thing in life can't be so lovely.

When I have destination in mind, I will look at 3-4 different sites just to get an idea of my options. If I have a lot of time, I will set an alert and wait a few weeks to see if I can get a better price. When time is of the essence, I decide on a max budget and then just hope for the best. You can make yourself crazy trying to find the best possible price, so unless you have the patience of a saint, you need to make some decisions. If you are far enough ahead of time, you can usually find some good prices and if you are flexible with times, you can defintely wait for a deal. If you have set vacation time, bite the bullet and buy the ticket. The price will probably keep going up and then you're really going to be pissed you waited (like I have done multiple times). Book your shit and then double check on it a few weeks before your departure to make sure they haven't changed anything up on you. Once I booked a Delta flight waaaaay far in advance and no one told me they moved the flight forward by 4 hours (WHO DOES THAT?) and my angry dumb ass was.  stuck in the airport for 7 hours. Got some SkyMiles out of it, but it was not worth it. Anyway, always check in online and double check all yo shit.

I am lucky enough to be financially secure enough to not have to take the absolute cheapest flight available anymore, because those often involve an absurd layover in some godforsaken airport. I honestly don't even know why some of these itineraries are an option because half the time you could walk to your destination in the layover time, but whatever. Some people have more patience and less money than me. But, please, do think very hard about how much you value money over time. Is $100 worth sleeping on the airport floor for 13 hours? And be especially conscience of when your layover is, because you might think you have 13 hours to explore your layover destination, but not if it's overnight! Also, be careful if you do venture out of the airport because they are not always close to anything and you have to think about when you need to be back and if traffic is going to allow that. Plus you have to drag around your luggage (if you have a 13 hour layover, you are probably too cheap to check your bag) and go through security again. If you decide to stay in the airport, make sure things will be open and there are decent places to eat and entertain yourself. Not all airports are created equal. If you ever get the chance to have a 13 hour layover in Incheon, Korea, do it! Its a fabulous airport. I do NOT recommend doing the same in Manila.

Hotels:
So, I've had run-ins with two major accommodation sites at this point in life so I am currently re-evaluating my attitude, in case it's actually me that is the problem. Basically, I used Hotels . com a lot because they have a great rewards program that was a nice benefit. But, I missed some of the fine print (and an email, apparently) and they wiped ALL my points after a year of not staying in a hotel with them. A year doesn't seem like an unreasonable amount of time to not stay in a hotel! Whatever, it's mostly my fault but dammit! Also, I have used Airbnb 4 times now and 3 out of the 4 have been pretty sucky. That is for another post (I already had a fb rant) but I don't know that I'll be using it again.

Regardless, it's REALLY important to read ALL the fine print and reviews when booking a hotel. Finding a nice budget hotel can be tricky business, so you kind of have to decide to decide what is on YOUR list of priorities. Budget alone? Find, pick the cheapest and have fun with the roaches and low water pressure. Amenities? Choose something pricier with a good reputation. Need to balance them? Get ready to shave off years of your life comparing and reading reviews. Some things you need to keep in mind, however, when doing any of it are what you need for a good stay. These are some things to consider, in case you are like me and have a terrible memory.
-bed comfort
-bathroom situation (shared, tub?, water pressure)
-distance to shit you want to go to
-distance to airport (especially if it's your first or last night somewhere)
-noise level
-free breakfast?
-distance to public transportation (unless you're somewhere with cheap ass taxis)
-food options available (close to restaurants, etc)
-cleanliness (duh)
-pool?
-how new is it (it can be a good thing, but it can also be SUPER awkward when you're the only guest)

In more expensive destinations like Hong Kong and Japan, it is going to be really difficult to find a cheap, nice hotel. I actually ended up staying in a hostel in Hong Kong (I broke my own rule), but I was traveling alone and it was nicer than I thought. Plus, everything else was outrageous. In Japan, I went for budget and had to suck it up in terms of cleanliness and comfort. I have yet to brave a capsule hotel, but heard good things from people that like sleeping in places where they can't sit up all the way.  Cheaper places, I like to go for something that is "pricier" and have a more enjoyable stay. I know people that say it's just a place to sleep, but I've always found that I personally need somewhere comfortable to rest when traveling.

I use Trip Advisor a lot and find it to be more truthful, usually, than the hotel's site or booking sites. Especially with Airbnb because that often depends on the person's personality and if they fit with the host (if there even is a host), and those are way more personal, so people are more hesitant to say something rude/truthful. Anyway, you should take the pictures on the sites with a grain of salt. They are like fast food pics..what they have the potential to look like, but only for the photo session. Also, try to ignore people with very singular reviews. Ok, so it sucked because there was a power outage. Unless everyone else over the past year had the same problem ,it is probably something that doesn't happen that often. Also look for key words in reviews like, "it wasn't that bad," or "we didn't mind," or "it's not for everyone, but." Not saying to avoid these places, but look at what "wasn't that bad" and decide if it makes or breaks it for you. I read a review that said something along the lines of there is construction going on but it starts late, around 7 or 8, so it wasn't that bad. Ok, well in my world, 10 is early so this person and I are obviously not on the same page. When I write reviews, I try to use facts and not necessarily personal problems I had with places because what is tolerable varies with everyone. I recently stayed in a shared room that surprised me when it was coed. I was fine, but maybe that's not for everyone. The only time I've been super pissed about reviews was a hotel in Vietnam. All the reviews were pretty positive, but they must have all been written by dirty hippies on a super budget because it was the shittiest place I have ever been and I literally cried the first night there. It was only $7 a night, but in Vietnam you can get some good quality for that price! I had booked 4 nights and was ready to just chalk the $28 to a loss because I had to get out. I wandered the city, found a hotel with a vacancy, asked to see the room first, and then booked it. The shit hotel did thankfully give me some money back but either way, I was ready to splurge on a room for $25 either way. I did and it was a FANTASTIC decision. I have found recently that splurging on good hotels always seems to be a good decisions. Luckily in places like Vietnam and the Philippines, you can do that within reason. Thanks, Southeast Asia!

Oh, and if you are over the crazy party hostel scene, but still want to meet new friends while traveling, look for shared rooms in hotels. I've only ever seen them in Vietnam, but it was 4-6 beds in a giant hotel room. They are usually more quiet and comfortable, plus you get all the perks of a hotel! New linens and towels every day, free breakfast, and front desk help! Highly recommend.

Obviously the best way to find a hotel is through friend's recommendations, but that doesn't always happen. My favorite hotel ever was a resort on a private island in the Philippines a friend told me about. It was surprisingly cheap, and was so wonderful. Also, it is basically impossible to ever really know for sure how things are going to turn out. It's scary, choosing a hotel, but it's a necessity. Places DO get sold out and I have definitely showed up in a small town with no reservation and had to resort to a minbak (Korean homestay), sleeping on the floor. It's a gamble, too, because if it sucks, you're stuck there unless they have a generous cancellation policy (they never do), but if you only booked one night to see how you like it, there is a chance they are sold out if you want to book more. Choose wisely, grasshopper. BUT! Try not to let it break your spirit. Hopefully the rest of your trip is going well and if it's totally horrible and disgusting, get the fuck out as fast as you can. Usually, if you're mad enough, they'll give you some sort of refund and you can find somewhere better.

Right then, those are my tips for flights and hotels! Not as helpful or as streamlined as I was envisioning this going, but I've only just begun. Certainly I'll get better..? I'll try, dear friends. Hang in there. Next post...PACKING!

[insert clever signature here]

Welcome, Friends

Well, well, well. Once again, I find myself at an impasse of life. What to do, what to do? I am full of ideas, and have no idea how to make any of them a reality so I turned to my old friend, blogger and now here we are. I've been told that blogger is outdated and lame, but I myself am headed into the "outdated and lame" stage of life (thirties!) so it suits me well.

This blog, as promised, will be random. I am random, my life is random and I like random things. But, I guess I should have some sort of introduction of myself, the point of this goal and as Koreans like to label it, "my concept."

Ok, so now I'm in my 30s. You'd probably never guess it. I was told once, "She say you face look like baby," and I think that sums it all up pretty well. It was at a yoga class in Korea and the teacher was translating for an adjumma* in the class. More on that later. I know my baby face will serve me well in 15-20  years, but right now, it would be nice if people though I have at least graduated from college. Thirties aren't so bad. In fact, I just turned 31 and had the most fantastic birthday of yet, so I am doing ok with this decade so far. This year I will also get married, and I've read that's the best day of your life, so I have that to look forward to as well! Plus, I get to have two best days since I'll also have a wedding in the US at some other point in time. Lucky me!

I could spend all day talking about myself. Being verbose is one of my many, many qualities. But, for now, I'll just do a quick bio:

I'm from South Carolina, but have been living in Korea (now Gangnam area, before Bundang) for the past (almost) five years, am engaged to a fabulous, goober Korean man, have done a lot of really random things in my life. I  am currently a "teacher" at a private English afterschool program in Seoul. I hate it SO MUCH and recently quit but according a "90 day notice" clause in my contract, I'm stuck there for two more months. I love a lot of things, but here's a current list, in no particular order:

candy
Disney
music
sleeping
reading
eating
baking
coffee
the beach
traveling
birthdays
Crispix
Kakao friends (JayG!)
Gudetama
lanterns
Totoro
blue cheese (most cheese)
SPARKLY THINGS
microwave popcorn

And that's where I'll stop for now.

Ok, so this blog is going to be less about my life and what is happening in it on a daily basis and more about things I just want to share. Requests? Holla!

I also want to come up with a catch phrase later down the line, but it will have to wait and happen naturally. Suggestions?

Thanks for listening!