The actual day of the portraits was quite lovely. My friend and her Korean came along and they made it a fun affair. However, in hindsight (and after we got to see the proofs), I should have asked A LOT more questions and there are things I wish had been different. Anyway, I'll start from the beginning and if you're also getting wedding portraits, you can learn from my mistakes!
So, we just went to the studio recommended by our wedding hall. The studio works with a make-up and hair salon as well as a dress rental shop, so we used those as well. I have no doubt there are better and nicer shops out there, but I don't have Korean skills to find them and my Korean doesn't have the patience to do any research so that's why we just did what we were recommended.
A few weeks before the photo shoot, you will make an appointment to have a dress and/or tux fitting at the dress shop. Now, I was too hungover from my 31st birthday party to make the first appointment where my Korean could go along (birthday parties in your thirties are REAL difficult to recover from), so I went with a friend at a later date. This was good and bad...less stress because it's my friend that actually cares about wedding dresses but more stress because she also doesn't speak Korean well. The ladies were nice enough, so we got through it without too many problems in the language department. The real problem is that in Korea, I am a fat monster and can't fit into most of the dresses. While it's an awesome system of just renting dresses instead of buying them, it really only works in your favor if you are "Korean size," which is like somewhere between a 00-4 in US sizes. Regardless of how you actually feel about your weight, trying to stuff yourself into dresses that are too small is kind of a downer. And because it's Korea, they just don't have anything bigger. Yes, most Koreans are a small size but there ARE bigger Koreans that exist and I want to know where they are getting wedding dresses. It wasn't this fucking shop, that's for damn sure. My weight fluctuates a lot, but I am generally between an 8-10 in US sizes. I'm only 5'2" on a good day so my weight is pretty packed on my small frame. I think I am probably the maximum size to very tightly squeeze into a Korean dress, so if you are bigger than a 10 or a C bra size, chances are slim you will find a dress.
I totally understand that *most* women in this country are relatively slim but there are most definitely some that aren't. It just seems crazy to me that they don't have ANY options for women that are slightly bigger than the average size person. When my Korean and I went back the second time, she told him that ALL the dresses in Korea were like this and ALL brides have to be stuffed into dresses and that I just had to "endure." And honestly, I wouldn't have been so upset but we specifically asked the wedding planner if the dresses would fit me and she said "don't worry." The only other option was to have a dress specially made for me, but that is, obviously, very expensive and was not something I was interested in doing. In hindsight, that would have been much less stressful and definitely less soul-crushing. But, I still maintain that I am a paying customer and I should have been provided with dresses that made me feel comfortable and beautiful. I shouldn't have to endure!
Anyway, so there were a few that I managed to get my fat ass into, but of course they don't actually zip up or close in the back. So, they put this piece of fabric back there and tie you up, corset style. This was fine for pictures done from the front, but pretty obvious for anything shot from the side and back pictures were out of the question. But I'll get to that later. So yea, I got to choose three to stuff myself in and they were going to be ready to go on the day of the shoot.
A little side note about this dress shop: it was pretty dirty and REALLY cheesy. The decor was cringeworthy and everything looked like it hadn't been touched or wiped down since the 90s. The ladies working there were nice, but the kept asking me what kind of dress I wanted. I have kind of strange body shape, so I was less interested in finding my dream dress, but more interested in finding a dress that was flattering and actually fit. Stupid me, that wasn't an option. And you know how at home you can actually look at the different dresses and decide what you do and don't like? Well here you better come prepared or you can look in this ONE book that's sitting out that has five dress options in it. And even if you say, oh yes, I like this one, let's try it on, chances are high that it won't fit so that's a wasted 30 minutes of your life.
Oh, and the best part is that they give you these teeny tiny undergarments to try on as well. TAKE YOUR OWN BRA if you ever have to do this. I cannot stress this enough. In addition to probably never being washed, the actual bra is teeeeeny tiny and they still make you wear it, even if it VERY CLEARLY doesn't fit. And trying on dresses without proper undergarments will shred whatever self-esteem you had left so I wouldn't recommend it. The tiny bra makes your boobs look crazy and it puts them in places they have probably never been before. They also gave me these tiny shorts to put on and they would have maybe fit my 10 year old cousin.
Oh, also eat a proper meal or take snacks with you because it took a good 3-4 hours and by the end I was a hangry monster. My nerves were already shot by the entire experience, but by the end, I was just like WHATEVER because I needed to leave and get some food.
Ok, so you get into some dresses and they make you stand on this pedestal thing and open the curtains to show you off to whoever is there with you. Like I said, my friend was with me the first time and when I went back to choose the actual wedding dress, my fiance was there. They don't have the same tradition of not having the groom see you before the wedding day so if you want to retain that, bring someone else or tell your man to wait outside.
So I chose three and that's that. About two weeks later, it's time to take the pictures and that is yet another fun adventure in miscommunications, shattered expectations and a breakdown of your self esteem. Ready? Okay!
First, we had to go get my Korean fitted for his tux. At my shady ass rental shop, there were apparently only four different jacket options for him to choose from. This seems insane to me, but why would anything start making sense now? Also, the sample clothes they had him try on did not fit AT ALL so it was hard to get an idea of what actually looked good. The shirt was billowy and huge and the pants were too short and made his otherwise cute butt look ridiculous. Also, he only wore one outfit during the entire photo shoot, while I wore five. WHATEVER.
My friend (same one that came to the dress shop) and her husband came along for the adventure because they will be going through the same process next year. Lucky them, they also get to benefit from our mistakes.
After that, we drove to the make-up studio and were told to put our things and clothes into lockers. He and I both got made up and got our hair done. I got angry because no one told me I was supposed to come with examples and ideas of what I wanted my hair and make up to look like. I don't really wear a lot of make-up on a daily basis, so I wasn't sure what "look" I was going for. These seems like a stupid oversight now, but I assumed they were the professionals and they would be able to give helpful suggestions. Wrong again! The make-up ended up looking nice, but I did get very "Korean" eyebrows that were very thick and straight across, rather than just filling in my natural arch. Other than that, I looked quite pretty! My hair is naturally curly and I should have known they would have a hard time dealing with it. But again, I stupidly went into this process thinking the hair professionals would be able to help me. There were pictures of different styles, but they were all for people with very long hair. There was talk of being able to put extensions in my hair, but I was leery. My hair is dark, but it's not quite as dark as most Korean's natural color and idk, extensions seemed like A LOT of work at the time. So, they just defined the curls and I wore it down for the first half of the shoot.
The hair and make-up process took THREE HOURS, which was shocking to me. Maybe that is normal, but it takes me about thirty minutes to get myself showered, ready and out the door, so three hours was an absurd amount of time to spend getting ready. Once everything was finished, I was put into dress number one by a lovely assistant sent from the dress shop. She didn't speak any English, but she was very kind and patient throughout the whole process so that was one positive thing that came out of the experience. She did give me the ugliest shoes in the entire world to put on and tried to get me to put on a corset the size of my thigh, but it wasn't her fault. It's what EVERYONE else has worn, so of course I should do it as well.
Oh, also, after all that, I had to get in the car and drive to photo studio, which meant I was just wandering around the streets of Apgujeong for a few minutes while my Korean pulled the car out. And you know what? No one even batted an eye. Bless you, oblivious Koreans.
Last thing-I did have a very positive experience having a traditional Korean hanbok made, and I'll talk about that later as well. Not everything about this mess was horrible.
Anyway, that's the dress portion. I'm exhausted from re-living all of this so I'll save the photo shoot for Part Set. Stay tuned!
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| Looks decent from afar. But let's take a closer look.... |
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| That's tape holding it together. Just to give you an idea of the high class establishment I was working with. |
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| Perfect! Let's get married in that. |
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| Four hours have passed and we haven't even started taking pictures yet.... |
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| These fucking shoes
*Also, just before anyone gets upset, I KNOW I am in another country, and should be expected to adhere to their customs, etc. I am trying and yes, I would benefit from speaking Korean better. These are my frustrations with my personal experience and most of it doesn't have anything to do with the actual country, it's a combination of lots of different things. Also, it's really really hard to let go of certain expectations you have for a wedding, even if you are in a different country. I really don't know if other Korean women are actually happy with their wedding experiences, but I can't imagine that anyone that is even the slightest bit overweight appreciates having ZERO options for them to wear on their special day.
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